By: Rebekah Harcrow
Unique Struggles Every Introverted Bride Can Relate To
Planning your wedding can be such a joyous time full of love and anticipation. However, if you’re an introverted bride like me, you’ve probably noticed you have a unique set of challenges on your plate that not everyone understands. The good news: you’re not alone! Here are struggles I’ve personally experienced as an introverted bride.
Photo by Butterfly Photography
Vendors not responding to my emails
Since getting engaged, I’ve begun religiously checking my email awaiting responses to important questions I have from various vendors. Breakfast time: I check my email. Lunch time: I check my email. Every hour in between: I check my email. But no matter how many times I click the white envelope icon on my iPhone, I’m still often left with unanswered questions.
The bakery I originally chose for my wedding cake took an average of seven to ten business days to respond to each email I sent, and finally stopped responding altogether. Then, after our original officiant cancelled, I reached out to my local church (via email) to find a replacement. It has now been nearly three weeks since their last response, and I even included a reminder “just checking in” email last week, to no avail. Ugh, I think to myself, knowing my only remaining option is to call and speak to them over the phone.
If you’re an extrovert, you might be thinking, why didn’t you just call your vendors to begin with? The answer is simple: Introverts tend to absolutely abhor talking on the phone. This is due to a variety of reasons, but for me personally, it’s partly due to the fact that I tend to express myself much more eloquently in writing than I do verbally. This is common for introverts, as they tend to be deep thinkers. I also need time to process my thoughts and correct myself if necessary—something I just can’t do in a five-minute phone conversation.
I’ll never forget my conversation with my first potential wedding photographer. I knew within the first ten seconds she was not for us. Although she was nice, she pried far too deeply into my personal life for someone I had never before met—since introverts tend to cherish their privacy, this left me feeling highly uncomfortable. She also carried on with meaningless small talk for what seemed like the entire afternoon—many introverts cannot stand small talk. Luckily, we found a photographer who is a much better fit for us.
Feeling taken advantage of because I don’t speak my mind right away
A few weeks ago, my fiancé purchased my wedding band. It was the perfect band for me—rose by gold to compliment my engagement ring, and distinctive from other bands I’d seen. Unfortunately, when I arrived at the jewelry store after having my band sized, there was just one problem: it didn’t fit my finger with my engagement ring on. My heart sank into the carpeted floor.
“It still doesn’t fit,” I alerted the sales clerk, pushing back tears. After grabbing a co-worker for assistance, they both informed me that my wedding band was actually not made for my engagement ring at all and recommended I exchange it for another band. However, because my fiancé purchased the band during a sale, they weren’t sure if they could honor the sale price if I did exchange it.
Being an introvert, I tend to avoid conflict if I can help it. Because of this, it is often difficult for me to speak up when something is bothering me. Since I’m also a deep thinker, it can take a while for me to process information and formulate a response that I approve of. So, even though I watched my fiancé ask the sales clerk specifically if that wedding band would fit my engagement ring before he purchased it, and even though I heard the sales clerk very clearly answer yes, the only words I could muster to them on this day were, “I am a little frustrated, but I know it’s not your fault. It’s all good.” Double ugh.
Celebrating amid the chaos
Even though being an introverted bride can be a struggle at times, it is important to note that there is also so much good involved in the process. From choosing meaningful vows and reception music, to having amazing bridesmaids by your side you know genuinely love and support you, to having the chance to marry the love of your life—it’s all very much worth celebrating. So, to all of the brides out there—introverted and non-introverted:
Cheers, and congratulations.
About the author: Rebekah Harcrow is a current bride-to-be who has experienced many of the unique adventures involved in planning a wedding during 2020. She has worked as a flight attendant for the past six years and has had the opportunity to travel across the globe for work and for pleasure. Her favorite place she has visited so far is Dublin, Ireland—from the legendary history to the buzzing culture, the city immediately stole Rebekah’s heart. When she isn’t flying, Rebekah loves sharing personal stories of struggle, faith, and triumph through her writing.
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